09 10 / 2013
i dont even care who “wears the pants” in my relationships as long as at the end of the day nobody is wearing pants
25 9 / 2013
the only bad thing about mashed potatoes is absolutely nothing
03 3 / 2013
I don’t think anyone has ever gone to McDonald’s and thought “yeah I could go for a filet o’fish”
30 12 / 2012
People were talking about how it would suck if Moffat wrote an episode of Supernatural and I had to agree and then I made a thing of what it would probably be like and got carried away.
15 7 / 2012
"So I slit my wrist- wow, that came out of no where!"
04 6 / 2012
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRETA!
I’m the best room mate ever.
Here are four short ficlets for our favourite couple. ;)
When they first met, Richard had fumbled and cracked the first joke that popped into his head- which turned out to be a pretty bad joke on every level. Alexander had paused in confusion before he smiled and gave the sweetest laugh Richard had ever heard.
The older man had put his hand over Richard’s shoulder and squeezed. “If you’ve got more jokes like that up your sleeve then this show is going to be very entertaining.”
Richard had felt light headed and blushed at the praise. Internally he had thought, ‘if you’ve got smiles brighter than that up yours then I agree.’
When they first kissed they were drunk. The crew was having a Christmas party on the Pointless set. Richard had downed three vodka-cokes before even turning up at because he’d heard Alex was bringing someone with a feminine name. Said woman turned out to be his sister-in-law but by that point Richard was already half-cut. So he just decided to go all the way. Alex had joined in with enthusiasm and their fingers had brushed one too many times whilst passing bottles around.
They had snuck onto the actual show-stage and Richard sat up on top of the desk he was usually confined behind. Alex had smirked and downed the remainder of the drink in his hand. “Any interesting facts you want to make shitty jokes about?” he slurred softly (although Richard could still hear that fucking beautiful accent), and had lent his hands on the desk either side of Richard’s knees.
Richard shrugged, brushing his lips against the side of his own glass. “None that are springing to mind just now…” he mumbled, trailing off when Alex leant closer than was socially acceptable for ‘just’ work colleagues.
Alex reached up an unsteady hand and took the drink away from the younger man, placing it and his own on the desk behind Richard’s hip. Said hand settled on Richard’s hip on its way back and squeezed. “I always wondered what it’d be like to get you on top of this thing,” was murmured into Richard’s ear and then he was kissed so hard that the glasses on his face went askew.
Not that he was complaining. Within seconds his hands were in Alex’s thin, brown hair, tugging the other man closer and opening his mouth to let their tongues meet.
Needless to say, the desk became special after that.
The first night they slept together in an apartment they could both call ‘theirs’ the phone rang. Richard’s father was phoning from outside a bar, drunk off too much gin and homophobia. He had seen two men kissing and automatically phoned his ‘faggot’ son to blame him- for infecting the world; for shaming not only his family, but God and the entire fucking universe. He told his son, in detail, how much of a disappointment he was.
Richard’s hands shook and he couldn’t reply, only bite back a sob as his eyes filled with tears.
Alex had taken the phone and told the old man to ‘Go fuck yourself’ before hanging up. He wrapped his arms around Richard and whispered nonsense into his ear, complimenting the other’s eyes without his glasses on and kissing him sweetly until Richard’s lips felt numb and his tears had stopped.
The first night in six year that they slept apart involved a £200 phone bill from Richard’s hotel. The poor jokes hadn’t managed to get him out of a business meeting so he had been stuck two states over. Alex remained at their flat, had warmed up leftovers in the microwave and watched TV.
But nothing was the same by himself. Without Richard there cracking stupid jokes the TV lost all of its appeal. Books, food and wine just seemed so miserable without Richard around. But when the phone rang, everything lifted.
They spoke about the meeting, about their plans in the future- things like broadcasting, dinners out and parties with friends. For the first time, Alex could really imagine the future lasting forever- until they were old men cracking jokes about incontinence and dentures. They spoke about Alex’s sister-in-law having a baby and then Alex just said it. “Maybe we should get one of those for ourselves?”
Richard paused over the phone and for a second Alex thought he’d ruined everything.
But then Richard laughed and replied, “Yes. I hear everyone has one. Very popular, but we would have to get a top-range model. I don’t want any glitches. And we are not calling it Pointless-”
So they spoke all night about it and Alex fell asleep with the phone cradled at his ear.